On Monday kiwisport got canceled so Miss Ashley and Miss Morison decided that Rm 7 vs Rm 8 at line basketball.
I thought Rm 7 was going to play with just us but Rm8 wanted to play with us so Miss Ashley had an idea it was Rm 7 (the best class) and Rm 8 (the 2ed best)
Will vs each other.
Rm 7 flowed Rm 8 to the court Miss Ashley said get in arder it had to be boy girl boy girl because the boys were talking at each other.
We started playing the game it was my turn and when I went up i was so scared it was like i was standing in front of 2,000 people but it was not really scary when i had the ball.
We finished at 12.27 we won we had 3 points and Rm 8 had 1 we were humble winners and Rm 8 were gracious losers we had lots of fun i hope we do that again.
Marking my story!
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Ideas
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Structure and Language
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Organisation
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Vocabulary
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Sentence Structure
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Spelling
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Punctuation
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R3
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R2
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R2
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R3
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R3
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R2
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R2
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Total score (add the numbers next to the R’s altogether)
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17
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1A
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YES YOU HAVE 5 PARAGRAPHS!!
ReplyDeleteGood detail, good ideas. They need a little more explaining.. what did you do when it was your turn with the ball? Who was with you? Did you pass the ball to anyone? Did you score?
Where is all your punctuation? You have dialogue which is awesome, but you didn't include speech marks which would have given you more marks.
Wow Angel! I love how you have organised your work into paragraphs. Your marking rubric is great but to help you move up in spelling and punctuation, remember to check over your writing so there aren't any spelling mistakes and to practice your basic punctuation.
ReplyDeleteAnother key thing to remember is that when you are writing the letter 'I', for "when I went up..." or "we had lots of fun I hope we..." that you need to use a capital letter!
Great effort Angel.
well angel i love how you used the word gracious.
ReplyDeletethis was a good story i like your detail and your ideas
i hope you had fun playing line basketball with the best classroom 8.
Hello Angel I really love how you explained the ideas and organised them and not making them fluffy
ReplyDelete